On the back side of the Funky Bunch, we never imagined that Marky Mark would emerge as Mark Wahlberg, top marquee draw and an Oscar nominee. While DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince was a fun and popular pop act of the 80s, no one living through 1988 ever thought, “That Will Smith sure has box office gold written all over him!” Cut to thirty years later, and he too is a multiple Oscar nominee and one of today’s top leading men. While Justin Timberlake hasn’t exactly set the big screen ablaze, he’s become a beloved institution amongst the hipster marketplace, as well as a sought out persona amongst all other demographics who love his comedy on Saturday Night Live, bathe in his music, or applaud his various turns at dramatic acting. He’s the closet thing we have to Frank Sinatra today.
What I’m trying to say is, there’s hope for Justin Bieber. Just the mention of his name sends shots of electrified hate through some people. But that’s been true of most popular young musical acts aimed at teen girls throughout the decades. And with the various ups and downs that his career has had, it’s easy to assume the kid has reached his zenith. Now, it’s time for him to choose a career path that won’t lead to his absolute destruction. Like it or not, he does possess the ability to be an entertainer that is around for the next twenty years. Or, he could do a Leif Garrett face plant, with all the kids born today saying, “Justin who?” less than a fortnight from now. It’s his choice to make, right?
For a while now, we’ve known that Justin Bieber has wanted to break into acting full time. Like Justin Timberlake before him, he’s been able to win audiences over on Saturday Night Live, proving that he is quite funny and able to land a well-written joke. Spit spite at him all you want, the guy has timing. For a while, it was known that he was actively pursuing a lead in a movie like Fear, a dark thriller that launched Mark Wahlberg’s career. There was even talk that he might star in a remake. That never came to fruition, with some folks being quite vocal about his inability to play someone like David McCall, a psychopath prone to terrorizing his girlfriend. Some even called for a gender reverse, with Justin Bieber taking on the role of a young man abused by his girlfriend. Or, he could simply play the Alyssa Milano party girl role.
We believe that bit of noise was thrown into the ether to see how fans and non-fans both would react to this news. We can also confirm through multiple sources that Justin Bieber has actively pursued a role in a Marvel movie. After watching his once and future girlfriend swing for the fences in Spring Breakers a few years back, the guy certainly has felt the heat to get himself in front of audiences at the multiplex. And Marvel, with its golden touch at the box office, is an almost full-proof way to go. At the very least it would do more for his acting aspirations than Zoolander 2. Look what those films did for Robert Downey Jr.’s career. We’d say at least 50% of audiences paying to see Tony Stark have forgotten, or refuse to acknowledge, some of the hijinks that guy involved himself in over the years. Downey did a lot worse then write a funny joke in Anne Frank’s guest book, and when he was on Ally McBeal, people couldn’t yell ‘douche’ loud enough. Marvel moviesmakes sense for ANYONE trying to kick-start an acting career. Their movies are seen by everyone, old and young. And it’s the perfect fit for Justin Bieber, where he can attract a fan base that isn’t entirely made up of screaming tweens.
Now, don’t read this the wrong way. Marvel, as far as we know, are not actively seeking Bieber out. And there is no particular character calling his name. So we’ve come up with a few characters we think he’d be perfect for. You might hate on The Biebs now, but you can’t look at this list and deny that you might enjoy watching him play at least one of these superheroes or mutants. And oddly enough, it’s a DC Comics character that we feel fits Justin Bieber best. So characters from both the Marvel and DC Cinematic Universe have been included here, in our list of 13 superheroes perfect for The Biebs.
Robin in Ben Affleck’s Batman
There is going to be a lot of conjecture, but based on the comics the Joker killed Robin at some point earlier in Batman’s life. By earlier we mean earlier than the events portrayed in Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. However, there are also rumors that the character of Jason Todd, aka The Red Hood is going to show up in the new standalone Batman movie. The idea, it seems, is that this new film will take place in the past. Thus, we will see how Robin’s suit came to be in Batman’s possession later in Batman v. Superman. First of all, the character of Robin likens itself to Dexter or the Punisher and even Batman in that he takes out villains of all stars and stripes. Would it be so hard to imagine Justin Bieber playing this role? He’s pulled off the ring walk with Floyd Mayweather who, with his Money Team, is considered a brilliant ring tactician and businessman. Realistically, how much farther away would that be from playing sidekick to a big screen version of the Caped Crusader? Lastly, if the lore is correct, it also seems like Bieber-haters could get to see him die on on screen; provided this movie gets that far.
As far as roles go, this one would be the most interesting. First off, this movie is going to hit theaters in 2019. It stands to reason that if Disney and Marvel hopes to make that release date, they’re going to have to get cracking. Secondly, lets not let the fact that Captain Marvelis a woman get in anybody’s way. Justin Bieber has shown himself to be quite versatile. If he wasn’t, he never would have made it past his original, mop topped hit “Baby,” right? The reality also is that there are only so many ways to skin a cat. These superhero movies are good but their stories and characters can only go so far. We’re not talking about films that reach the level of say an Inception or Boyhood, right? In order to make a splash, why not have Justin Bieber play a woman who is suddenly imbued with superpowers from the Kree Empire? Lets see what he has right from the jump. Either he nails it and suddenly is broken free from tween idol status, or the film goes the way of Showgirls, Bieber makes another album and licks his wounds in the process.